Saturday, December 5, 2009
When dealing with abuse, victims (survivors) face many obstacles including depression, PTSD, anxiety disorders, addictions, amongst other side effects. In the book, Shame Lifter: Relplacing Your Fears and Tears with Forgiveness, Truth, and Hope Marilyn Hontz brings forth a symptom of abuse that isn't often discussed, "Shame."
Hontz takes us through a journey of her own shame as she unravels her experience with abuse. This inspiring book helps us to realize that we have choices in our lives; to be a shame lifter or a shame receiver.Reading this book, I found a sense of myself. Being in an abusive relationship at one time, I remember the shame I endured. Never did I think of myself as a shame receiver.
Hontz continues her journey by learning forgiveness. When one is abused, do we hold a bitter grudge or do we forgive those who abused us and become a shame lifter. She questions her readers as she explains what the definitions are between a shame lifter and a shame receiver.In fact, she notes that the abusers are, in fact, shame givers.
At the end of each chapter, the book provides an array of questions for the reader to ask themselves. It is an eye opener as the questions and answers pour out of ones soul. I did ask myself some questions and find in everyday life, I seem to somewhat be a shame receiver.
Hontz candidly talks about "Shame Language." Shame brings lies as we are embarassed by what we've been through and who we think we are. I agree with this. Having been diagnosed wtih Bipolar Disorder, to some point, I have held shame. With this, I have lied to my friends as I cover up my whereabouts, why I don't do certain things and saying, "I'm busy" seems to be getting old.
If you are in or have been in an abusive relationship or hold shame to something that you are going through, this book is for you! This book has really opened my eyes to realize that living in shame is not the way to live. Being a shame lifter is a cleansing experience for our souls.
**Book Review Request**